The World Without You
by Lady Thesta
Summary: Nathan told Shilo to change the world, but only scalpels can do that. Shilo's journey to fulfill her father's dying wish takes her beyond the home she'd known her whole life, into an unknown world. Eventual Grilo


**The World Without You**

**Prologue – In My Time of Need**

She had walked the long way back to her home after the Opera. No one stopped her; no one wanted to know why the young girl was covered in blood, too busy with their lives to spare a moment for one heartbroken teen. She was pitiful looking, everyone she encountered shied away from her. Finding the grime of the floor and the walls around them far more interesting as she walked by, instinctively fearing the daughter of a monster they did not know or see.

How she was able to find her way home in a strange city that she'd only ventured out in hours ago, she'd never be able to guess. Her mind was lost in a haze from the moment she set foot outside of the Opera house, until she was standing at the familiar gates once more. Briefly she entertained the idea of walking past and ignoring the looming building of her childhood home and prison. Even as the world outside the gate fascinated her, memories of terrifying stories her father once told her to encourage her to stay in resurfaced and she slipped through the gate the relative safety of the front porch.

The house would be empty without the shadows of her Mother and the loving, over bearing presence of her Father. She didn't want to go in; afraid of what she knew _wouldn't_ be there. All the while praying that he _would_ be there to take her in his arms and tell her it was just all a terrible joke, or a dream and that everything was the same as it always was. Safe and the same, as everything should be.

He wanted her to change the world, but he _was_ her world! How can you change something that wasn't there anymore? How could he leave her all alone like this? Leaning against the heavy door, she wished it would swing open and there her Father would be. He'd scold her to going outside, tell her to take her medicine and then send her on up to her room and to bed. But he wasn't there; he'd never be there again.

Slowly pushing the door open, she slipped inside. Remembering to lock the door behind her, she climbed the stairs as she pulled off first her gloves and wig, leaving them forgotten on the floor as she walked towards the bathroom. Her dress was next to go, followed by her shoes and stockings. Even her mother's necklace came off once she was in the bathroom, leaving nothing of the opera to remind her of the horrible happenings of the night.

Turning the shower to scalding hot, she grabbed the first washcloth that came to hand and began to feverishly scrub at the blood that still covered her body. Mostly Mag's….some was her Father's. She scrubbed until her skin was raw and the tub was stained a pink-red. Clean, she just wanted to be clean again. Maybe if she was clean, she'd feel more like herself and everything would be alright. Standing under the hot water, washcloth hanging limply from her fingers, she wondered what she was going to do now.

Her father, no doubt, had taken precautions to make sure that the house was taken care of so she wouldn't have to worry. He was a Repo-man, it was dangerous work and he wouldn't leave his precious daughter without something to fall back on. But she didn't want to stay here. She knew the ghosts would haunt her until she went mad.

Change the world he said. The world wouldn't _need_ changing if it weren't for all the surgery addicts. Getting their features changed every few days just to be considered 'in style.' It disgusted her.

Frustration and anger giving her strength that she had otherwise been lacking, she turned off the water and pulled a towel around her slim figure. Storming down the hall to her room, she pulled on the first nightgown that came to hand. Not being able to stand the sight of her room, which was only serving to remind her of the lies she lived with, she ran back down the hall to her father's room. A place she'd only visited briefly in the past, before he put a lock on her door for her 'protection.'

Slowly, cautiously, she opened the door and slipped inside. The room didn't look like the room of a Repo-man, didn't look much like that of a dedicated father either. Everything was decorated in soft shades of green, the bed was neatly made. The room was set up more like a guest room then a master bedroom. The only sign that anyone ever spent any time here was two framed pictures on the bedside table along with a still full glass of water, a scalpel, and a tie hanging from the bedpost. One frame held a photo of Nathan and Marni on their wedding day while the other held a photo of Shilo when she couldn't have been any older than five.

Fingering the scalpel gently, thoughts of ending it right here flitted through her mind. But what would that accomplish? Her father's dying wish was for her to change the world. Could she do that if she was dead? Of course not. She wasn't nearly important enough to cause a stir strong enough to trigger a chain in the people of this city, let alone the world. Even if you took tonight's endeavors into account, she was still just one seventeen year old girl. The only thing that ever made anyone look was what this scalpel could do the make the people of the world 'better.' Has everyone really forgotten what it was like when that scalpel was meant to save lives, instead of ruining them?

If only there were doctors in the world that still cared about a person's life and fixing all the organ failures. Instead of performing 'designer' transplants and just giving Repoman one more person to kill. Not all doctors could be such horrible people, right? This island couldn't be the only place where people lived, and people always needed someone medically trained for those problems that they couldn't fix themselves. What if she left, could she find someone? Could she become one of those rare doctors that genuinely cared about her patients?

Taking the scalpel gently in her fingers, she held it up to get a better look at the thing. It's blade gently winking and sparkling in the dim light of the room. Was she strong enough to use this simple tool to carve her own place in this world? To strive to find a cure for the organ failures that have been plaguing humanity for years, giving people like the Largo's power over those who couldn't afford medical treatments. Leaving such terrible people unchecked, with organ repossession legal, giving Repomen jobs that could wrench father's away from their families.

Putting the scalpel back down, she pulled the tie around her neck, picked up the picture of her parents and held it close to her chest. Climbing into the neatly made bed, she buried herself into the forest green sheets and hid her face against the soft, sage pillows. Finally allowing herself to loose herself to tears, she clung to the old photo and cried herself to sleep. Could she really just leave? There wasn't anything keeping her here anymore. But tonight had been her first time ever leaving her house and she didn't even know _how_ to get off the island! Or if there even was anything beyond the water! "Someone please tell me what to do."

Tears falling freely, she cried until her voice was hoarse and no more tears would fall. Finally her physical exhaustion caught up with her emotional exhaustion and sleep claimed her. Memories of her father drifted to the back of her mind as dreams of what lay beyond the island danced in her head, tempting her with unknown promises.

AN: Thesta here! Got an actual, all new story for you guys! I'll continue re-writting and updating my old stuff. But I wanted to write something new for a fandom I'm currently fully engrossed in as opposed to one I haven't really been active in for quite some time. Please enjoy and I'm looking forward to writing more of this story!


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